There was this line that I heard in the movie Meatballs that went something like this; "If you make one good friend a summer then you're doing pretty well." I would take this one step further. If you make one good true friend in a lifetime then you are doing pretty well.
I have made a few such friends in my lifetime and I am pretty sure, that at this period in my life, there will be possibly one other or there may be no others.
My early life growing up was somewhat as a gypsy. I moved around a lot often changing schools several times a year. When one moves as often as I did you learn not to get close to anyone. It makes leaving much easier. I had friends that I played with but they were really only acquaintances. I can not remember the names of any of the kids that I played with early in my childhood. Not one. I remember faces and times spent with them but never did one of these people become a lifelong friend.
At the age of eleven I moved to Nebraska to live with my Aunt and Uncle. For the first time I lived in a stable environment as from the seventh grade through graduation I attended the same school with the basic set of classmates. These are people that I got to know and I remember their names and faces to this day. However, even though I went to school with them for six years I did not make one lifetime friend. Part of this was my fault in that through 11 years of avoiding friendships I had not learned to trust in them. And part of it was that I lived 15 miles from school so for the most part the only times I was with these people was during the school year.
My first experience in learning to make friends came when I joined the Navy. Three months of boot-camp helped because during your training you learned that you had to trust the men who worked beside you. Boot-camp was followed by a year of training at a Class A Electronics Technician school. During this year there were some guys that I served with for pretty much the full year. I do remember the names of some of these guys. However, it wasn't until I served aboard ship that I really started to have firm friends. I spent close to three years on board the USS Shangri La serving with some of these guys the whole period. We lived together, worked together, played together, and suffered together. Even today, some 40 years later, I am still in contact with some of these guys.
My first close friend was Robert Redfern. Bob and I got to know each other during our time on board the Shang. Often, when duty sections allowed, we would spend our liberty time together when the ship pulled into a foreign port. The two of us took a weeks leave while we were in Japan and visited the cities of Tokyo and Osaka, which was the home of the 1970 Worlds Fair. After returning from our last cruise, Bob and I were transferred to different commands. Although we managed to get together a few times, eventually we both left the Navy; I went to work for a company in California and Bob to a job in South Carolina. Due to time and distance we lost contact with each other until recently when contact was re-established. However, too much time has passed and it appears that our friendship will just remain fond memories.
My second, and probably my closest friend, was Darrell Ramse. Darrell was a former Marine who came to work with me at the Port Hueneme, Calif Naval base. From the very first we hit it off because, other than sharing first and middle names, we both enjoyed outdoor stuff like hiking, hunting, etc. Our wives, both artistic, also hit it off. Darrell and his wife Sue were there for me when my wife died suddenly. I am not sure whether I could have made it through had it not been for them and one other person. I could never get Darrell to give up cigarettes and three years after the death of my wife, on my birthday, Darrell died from lung cancer. I miss him to this day.
One other person helped me through the ordeal of losing my wife and that was another employee of mine named Cindy. She listened to me when I needed to talk, gave me some solid advice when I was unsure of my next move, and encouraged me when I was down. Her husband got a promotion and they moved to another state. I had lost track of Cindy for years but because of Facebook we recently reconnected where I found out that she had to go through years of very serious health issues, almost losing her life, and I wasn't there to befriend her as she had me. I feel bad about that. Yet today, 25 plus years later, separated by 2000 miles and not seeing each other for better than 20 years, we are still friends.
This brings me up to the best friend that I have ever had on this earth -- my wife Barb. We met at work where we had got to know each other through little talks that eventually became spending time together over lunch, and then dinners. It was now my turn to have to fight cancer and Barb was there to help me through this ordeal. It was during this period we realized that we had fallen in love. I survived the cancer and we got married and as of this writing we are very close to celebrating our 11th anniversary. I have the best of both worlds -- I am married to a woman who is fully in love with me, and I her, and to a woman that is also my very best friend. There is nobody who has ever known me better nor is there anyone whom I trust more than her. And there is nobody on earth that I want more to please than her. I love her dearly. It has been eleven years and we still do everything together: we work together; we carpool together; we go shopping together; we go to church together; etc. And still we are the very best of friends. My life has been made richer in many ways because of her. She has surely been a gift to me from my Lord and Savior.
Which brings me up to my last friend -- a man who loves me unconditionally regardless of who I am or what I have done. That man is Jesus the Christ, the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. Because of His sacrifice I know that not only is He my friend on earth I also know that He has a place for me in His house when my time here on earth is over.
Looking back, I realize that I have been a lucky and fortunate man.
Thank you Lord.
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